Prepare the cabbage: Cut the cabbage half in half through the core, then slice out the hard triangular core from each wedge. Lay each wedge flat and slice crossways into thin ribbons about 3–5mm wide. You'll hear a satisfying crisp snap as the knife goes through — fresh cabbage offers little resistance.

Grate the carrots: Peel the carrots, then grate them using the large holes of a box grater. The shreds should be feathery and bright orange, not mushy or wet. If you see excess moisture, pat them dry with kitchen paper.

Slice the onion: Cut the red onion in half from root to tip, peel it, then slice each half into thin half-moons. Aim for translucent, papery slices — any thicker and they'll overpower the dish.

Make the dressing: In a small jar or bowl, combine the mayonnaise, apple cider vinegar, Dijon mustard, caster sugar, celery salt, and black pepper. Screw the lid on tightly and shake until the mixture is pale, creamy, and completely smooth — about 15 seconds of vigorous shaking.

Combine everything: Tip the shredded cabbage, grated carrot, and sliced onion into a large salad bowl. Pour the dressing over the top and toss thoroughly with salad servers until every strand glistens with a light coating. The vegetables should look glossy but not drowned.

Rest and serve: Cover the bowl with cling film or a plate and let it sit at room temperature for 20 minutes. During this time, the cabbage will soften slightly while still retaining its crunch, and the flavours will meld together. Give it one final stir before serving.